Now I struggle with the fact that in theory I should know it all. As a health care professional with many years of experience I should know how hard being a mum is, how it changes your life, how tiring and emotional it can be and how it isn't always a bed of roses. But, I learnt very early on, probably during pregnancy, that all sense of reason goes out of the window when your hormones are involved and later on, when you are soooo tired that you can't even think straight!!!
I know and I share with others that the feelings of GUILT that a new mum often have comes free, no strings attached with the delivery of each baby. Guilt that you may have not succeeded, or have chosen not to breast feed, (after all Breast is Best, isn't it!?!?!?). Maybe you didn't feel that overwhelming love immediately and worry that this delay in attachment/bonding with have an adverse affect on your relationship with your baby (0ften, this takes time, as you get to know them and them you, the feelings of love growing with time).
I see some parents that believe that they must be constantly stimulating their baby to justify being a good parent. Or those who buy ever piece of equipment that is on the list (the majority of which will never be used), and what about groups and activites. Yes, they are good for giving you the opportunity to meet others, get support and share experiences with your baby......but how many can you go to in one week?
There are always decisions to be made too, "bombarded" with information about what you should do according to research makes you almost paranoid to do it any other way. Huge struggles, tears and good old guilt again if you decide to follow your own gut instinct as to what is right for you and your baby.
Once the baby arrives, we feel that we should spend every waking moment attending to their needs, husband/partner, cooking, cleaning, ironing, shopping and so much more. But, what about us, what about "me time, time for YOU"? How guilty do you feel when you decide to take a break?
Has anyone told you that if you look after you, and you are happy and content then your baby, children and others around you will benefit too. I know I've said it to may mums.
You may wonder why I am feeling so focused on "feeling guilty", because for the first time in eight years I will be having five days away from my children. I have gone through a mix of feelings.....I am going to miss them so much, what will I do to fill my days, will they miss me, will they be Ok.......to party time and looking forward with huge enjoyment to being able to get up when I want, sleep as long as I want, eat when I want and go where I want. I think for just this once though, that I may just be able to work through my feelings of guilt and have a fantastic time alone. After all, I must learn to practise what I preach!!!
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