What can a parent do to make a baby feel safe & secure?

........a few parents and some colleagues have told me “it’s obvious, isn’t it?”, but is it?

Yesterday, I quietly observed (I love people watching, but it drives my family mad) a couple of families. The first a young couple having lunch with their two young boys, the mum spoke to one a few times to encourage him to eat. Otherwise there was no interaction between them. What were they doing? On their mobile phones!

The second couple were with their baby in the swimming pool; what a fantastic experience for all of them, except the baby was held so that there was no eye contact between them and again only occasionally did they speak to her. I had the urge to rush over and talk to them about the simple things they could do to make the most of this opportunity (but, of course I didn’t, so I’m doing it now).

To develop a relationship between a parent and their baby that is strong, full of joy and happiness, everyday from conception onwards parents need to feel supported themselves, give their baby lots of cuddles, talk / sing to them, play and buy a buggy that can face them

• Get support – being a parent has got to be the hardest job ever with many moments of joy but, also times of frustration, confusion and exhaustion. Asking for and accepting support from family and friends can be difficult. Adults, like babies are happier when they have support around them and it’s helpful to find out what is available locally too.

• Babies /children need lots of cuddles – touch produces oxytocin which helps relax them. It makes them curious about what’s around them and teaches them to be empathetic to others and to feel safe.

• Talking and singing – babies knows the sound of their parents voice and the voices of those that have been around regularly in pregnancy from the moment they are born. Talking and singing to them makes them feel happy and secure.

• Playing – Play is important for all ages. It helps relax us and makes us feel at ease. It helps our immune systems and muscles to relax and refresh themselves. For babies and children play is their work.

• A buggy that can face the parent – babies prefer to see their parents/carers, it’s more fun and it’s important for
them to know that they are there.


So it is obvious really...but these simple messages and actions can make a real difference to how a baby/ child develops.


(The IAIM provides baby massage courses communication between babies and parents/ carers. To find your local CIMI go to:

www.iaim.org.uk)