Nearly the end of the week

It's nearly easter, have had a mental week trying to get as much done while the children have been away and so I can have a well earned break over the weekend.

I have been educated today. The 2nd day of the Solihull Approach. Some of you may know what that is all about, for those of you who don't it helps me help you when you have problems and concerns about your childs behaviour. It was fascinating.

I am now going away to read, inwardly digest and will be including bits and pieces of it in the July edition of The Baby Book.

Change isn't always easy.

Often you'll find that carrying on as normal is the easiest option short term, but sometimes as painful as it is, you have to look further ahead to see what is really best for you and maybe for your children.

Recently, I have come across lots of women who for one reason and another need to look at where their lives are heading. Maybe it's returning to work or not, having another baby or not, addressing a painful experience from the past or finally doing something positive about the way they have been treated by a partner/ husband for a very long time.

Whatever it is, it is meaningful to you and can not be compared to other peoples problems. Your problems, worries and concerns are your own and should never be belittle them by suggesting that someone else you know is worse off because of xyz.

Change is very hard, finding someone you trust can be hard, telling someone about your worries is THE hardest thing ever. But, once you have done it, it is done and you can explore ways in which you can move forward if that is what you wish to do.

There is ALWAYS someone to talk to, in person, at the end of the phone or via the internet - just find the right option for you. It maybe difficult and painful initially, but if you allow others to support, guide and help you, you will come out of it as a much stronger person with everyone around you benefitting from it too.

I'm still waiting

......for the guilt and missing my boys to kick in but, it hasn't as yet.
Had 9 3/4 hours sleep last night, the longest ever in one stretch for over 8 years. How great did I feel this morning.
Batteries charged and raring to go I was, lots of Baby Book work to do. After making over 80 phone calls to update information for the book my brain was scrambled.
How many baby and toddler groups does one town need?
I hear many a story about people's experiences of groups, often they fill first time parents with trepidation. It's like stepping into the unknown and often better tackled with a friend by your side. Sometimes, "clicky", sometimes "unfriendly", but more often that not a fantastic place to share experiences, make lifelong firends, laugh and cry and watch your baby grow into an active toddler who is keen to learn, explore and investigate! Just try not to compare your child with those of your friends - they all develop at different rates but get there in the end.

You just have to find the right one for you.

Shopping is not my favourite past time

Today I have been shopped until I was ready to drop and drop I did. Needed a power nap when I got home and I only bought three things for me, one being socks. How sad!!

I think my dislike for shopping for myself started when I was pregnant, with my body changing shape, gaining large amounts of weight combined with a mind set that I didn't want to waste money on clothes that I was only going to wear for such a short time. I simply shopped out of necessity and not pleasure.

After having my first baby I imagined that I would be back in my own clothes very soon. How wrong was I, feeling good after having the baby I had my first setback. My attempt to wear my jeans halted when they wouldn't even pass over my knees.

Lesson learnt (again, learning to practise what I preach), weight loss takes time....nine months to put on and nine months to come off. Well, for me it was 5 1/2 months.

Now I feel that I have lost my way with fashion. I'm not sure what styles suit me, what colours look best but, I so want to be a "Yummy Mummy". So, for my very special birhtday that is now a matter of weeks away I am out to find someone to guide me in the right direction. Anyone know how to contact Gok Wan!?!??!?

Me time

I have just spent a wonderful afternoon browsing around the beautiful town of Hay on Wye. A delightful place with lots of places to explore. I didn't even need to spend any money, the opportunity just to be me and have time for me was enough. I think this break away from the children has been long overdue.

Don't get me wrong, I love them to bits, I enjoy their company and doing things with them, but just once in a while it is good to to take time out from balancing all those balls in the air. Life as a working mum is one crazy ride and sometimes it's good to just stop.

Not having to think about what's for tea tonight (planning to live off ready meals or other people's kindness for a few days), and starting the bath and bedtime routine will be very refreshing.

Should I be missing them yet? My mum thinks so and I am sure I will do......at some point. But, for now I am just going to enjoy the peace and quiet and well earned (in my opinion) break from routine.

A dollop of guilt free with every delivery...

Now I struggle with the fact that in theory I should know it all. As a health care professional with many years of experience I should know how hard being a mum is, how it changes your life, how tiring and emotional it can be and how it isn't always a bed of roses. But, I learnt very early on, probably during pregnancy, that all sense of reason goes out of the window when your hormones are involved and later on, when you are soooo tired that you can't even think straight!!!

I know and I share with others that the feelings of GUILT that a new mum often have comes free, no strings attached with the delivery of each baby. Guilt that you may have not succeeded, or have chosen not to breast feed, (after all Breast is Best, isn't it!?!?!?). Maybe you didn't feel that overwhelming love immediately and worry that this delay in attachment/bonding with have an adverse affect on your relationship with your baby (0ften, this takes time, as you get to know them and them you, the feelings of love growing with time).

I see some parents that believe that they must be constantly stimulating their baby to justify being a good parent. Or those who buy ever piece of equipment that is on the list (the majority of which will never be used), and what about groups and activites. Yes, they are good for giving you the opportunity to meet others, get support and share experiences with your baby......but how many can you go to in one week?

There are always decisions to be made too, "bombarded" with information about what you should do according to research makes you almost paranoid to do it any other way. Huge struggles, tears and good old guilt again if you decide to follow your own gut instinct as to what is right for you and your baby.

Once the baby arrives, we feel that we should spend every waking moment attending to their needs, husband/partner, cooking, cleaning, ironing, shopping and so much more. But, what about us, what about "me time, time for YOU"? How guilty do you feel when you decide to take a break?

Has anyone told you that if you look after you, and you are happy and content then your baby, children and others around you will benefit too. I know I've said it to may mums.

You may wonder why I am feeling so focused on "feeling guilty", because for the first time in eight years I will be having five days away from my children. I have gone through a mix of feelings.....I am going to miss them so much, what will I do to fill my days, will they miss me, will they be Ok.......to party time and looking forward with huge enjoyment to being able to get up when I want, sleep as long as I want, eat when I want and go where I want. I think for just this once though, that I may just be able to work through my feelings of guilt and have a fantastic time alone. After all, I must learn to practise what I preach!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

It's that special day again, where all mums-to-be, new mums, older mums, experienced mums and grandmums are made to feel VERY SPECIAL. I had hoped for a lie in but no chance with two very excitied puppy-like children planning what they were going to give me for breakfast in bed.

Unfortunately, my husband was off to work early this morning and left them with a warning to give me orange juice to drink as it was too dangerous to make me a cup of tea. Yummy......I feasted on chocolate weetabix accompanied by a glass of orange juice, every mouthful I took being watched by two very "pleased with themselves" children!!

Lovely cards, chocolates (bang goes the diet thing again) and a voucher for some well earned pampering.....all opened by my four year old.

To all mums everywhere, although today is the day when everyone around you acknowledges what a special person you are and what a good job you are doing for them, it's important that you know that you are special and important day in day out and week after week. You may feel foolish to begin with but stand infront of the mirror everyday and make sure you congratulated yourself on what a good job you are doing.....because I doubt anyone else will!!!

Enjoy your day whatever your plans may be.

Thinking of becoming a parent.....??????

From the moment that you start thinking of becoming a parent, you are "bombarded" with information about the does and don'ts of what you should do to have the healthiest pregnancy, the easiest and most natural delivery; the best recovery, the quickest weight loss and the most intelligent and beautiful baby!
Don't eat this, don't drink that, you must eat this and you must drink that........exercise, relax and think calming thoughts. Rub this and that in to prevent stretch marks, and a multitude of supplements that can be taken for any possible complaint or condition that you may have the misfortune to encounter during your nine months of pregnancy.
All of this before you even consider the type of labour/birth experience that you would ideally like to opt for........natural, water, home delivery, or "give me all that I can have, and I NEED IT NOW!!!!!!".
Choices, choices, choices; decisions, decisons, decisions and we haven't even mentioned the "shall I breast or bottle feed debate" yet.